Star Vomit
by Lyrical Logic
Summary: Because sometimes History likes spewing star vomit and orgasmic rainbows. FFVII Future fic Like waaaaay in the future when they're all dead with GRANDCHILDREN For Sophie. Part of the Momentum series.


FFVII Future fic

Summary-Because sometimes History likes covering the sky in star vomit and orgasmic rainbows.

Disclaimer- I own absolutely nothing but the characterisation of Quinn and this storyline.

Warnings- AU (No duh, I's a _future fic_) Uncontrollable amounts of Angst.

Notes- Okay I stole Cid, sorry but I needed him. Everything else is just shameless.

Dedication-Sophie, cause I'll forget Christmas.

* * *

History always repeats itself.

Of course it does. There's no need for originality when you can have the same 3 people fuck things up over and over again. Or the same impossibly horrible things happen over and over again. What's the point of originality when you already know the ending?

See, no point

It made her feel better, knowing that no matter how much she screwed things over, someone else would do it worse. Because that's just how it worked. Things would change, stay the same, be different while not/changing at all. The Planet, Gaia, The Immortal Flower Girl, her mother, grandmother, deceased rabbit Hugglekins-The-Ultimate and all those other stars in the sky wouldn't have it any other way. After all it would be there turn to make people cry/die/live/weep someday and she'd salute them and runaway laughing/crying because they were _idiots._

Idiots to believe they'd turn out differently, idiots to hope that history would pity them; idiots to believe that Fate –History's long time buddy and up there with Destiny and Love for the biggest screw-over's of all time- would give them that second chance at being the hero.

She looked up at the sky and mouthed an old tune, it stumbled out awkwardly and she swore. Snapping up with the snap of her orange visor-goggles she brushed off the dirt on her long red boots. Brown spider webs flew and tawny eyes glinted. She needed some way of quelling the terrific anger and unfairness in her heart. So she did what she knew best.

She ran.

And ran and ran till gravity let go and she was just another meaningless blur. Then she screamed and yelled and kept running cause it was all she could do not to fall on her face and _stab stab stab_ at the ungrateful planet for not caring. Not caring that she hurt, not caring that she had just saved this bitch of a Planet from The Third War. Not caring that her super-special-awesome-fantabulos skills had saved millions of people. Not caring that if she kept running she'd have to stop anyway 'cause of the frickin huge cliff in front of her. Unless she just kept running and fell off and-

Oops...

And now The Planet could feel bad for killing off the most Splendiferous Ninja and Tapioca Queen to have ever existed.

That's right The Planet had just killed _royalty._

And she was gonna die, and Izzy could have jewellery, and Duke could have her dagger, and Cloud could have her Materia and Tifa- wait who the hell's Tifa and Cloud? And whys he getting her Materia?

Then she couldn't think because she was falling, falling, falling and gravity was catching her and she was floating and not falling falling falling and well...really damn confused. Then she was covered in icy fire and sunsets and much too tired to think anything but _sleep, rest, close eyes, sleeeeeeeeeep... _

'_No, don't go to sleep! Quinn wake up, wake up!'_

_I'm wishing on a star..._

--*--

Heaven is seriously, _seriously_ overrated. It smells like dirt and sunsets and mean stepsisters and nothing at all like Cinderella like it should. If it exists. Which it probably doesn't cause she's dead and dying and The Planet killed her. This is why she can feel her feet and someone's lovely calloused hand kissing her forehead. Which is a stupid thing to think really, hands don't kiss only lips do and lips don't have calluses. At least they didn't when she was last awake. Oh my god, does that mean she was frozen by Shiva for her awesomeness to save the planet once again in the future. What kind of advances had the future made? Could she now just materialise things with her mind, instead of getting up and actually finding the thing and going to the trouble of 'borrowing' it from its current owner?

And she could feel something cold, icy, _baaaaaad_ [OMG, Shivas icy lips, _Shivas icy lips_] passing over her eyebrows and drumming on her temples, kinda gross and dead and icky like Cervon's blackened heart.

And she woke up.

Not dead of course. Just concussed and badly bruised. Which is damn unfair now that she thought about it. Now she couldn't bleed everywhere and make messes she wouldn't have to clean up because she'd be dead and they couldn't make her. _Nyah _

And now there'd be no 'Mourning Day for Her Spiffiness' and no one would ever be able to wear cool hats for fear of being eaten alive by chinchilla's! Even though she has no idea what chinchillas are but whatever they _sound_ dangerous.

And Cervon looked mad and sad and glad and totally badass which ruined the rhyming thing and made her wonder what she'd done wrong. Then she decided that she didn't really care anyway, because he didn't like her boots which _of course _is a crime punishable by death and disembowelment. Actually disembowelment sounds really icky let's change that. Anyway, he doesn't like her boots, which is just wrong because there obviously fantabulos and awesomely spiffy.

Spider webs started dancing in front of her eyes and she knew they weren't hers. They span and glinted and glistened like nightrain and dead fireflies. She clicked her heels together and said '_Home, Toto'_ then waited for the tell tale gust of wind and creepy old man voice to take her home.

Of course, if that worked then she'd have to move and she'd probably break Shivas spell and fall into black oblivion for her insolence. Besides if she was oblivion-ated no one would ever get the absolute _pleasure _of her opinion ever again!

The spider webs were moving again dancing in front of her eyes. She swayed in time with the strands, eye's never stopping nor breathing away from the wisps. An old need to sing pitter pattered on her throat. Never one to ignore her feelings she tried to open her mouth finding it covered by warm liquid and peach flesh. She spat it out directly on to...aw cwap...lord of the cranky and creepily apathetic himself, Cervon Mc no feel. Actually she had no idea what his last name was, which was really bad 'cause she couldn't write creepy stalker notes to him and that would be bad because she really liked him, although he never noticed. And it made her want to cry and whine and _'Wah, why don't you like me?' _At his stupid, pretty, pretty face and punch him.

{_To find out where you are...__}_

Because she knew as well as anyone else that life is systematically unfair and anything she did about it was hopeless.

Glassy eyes looked straight up when a pair of flying chesticles roared past and exclaimed "Dear Lord, is she okay?!"

"Same amount as usual." Another one said

"Cervon, don't be crass, we _all_ know how much..."

"Shut up Izzy, what about you and you're..."

"Hmm, so that's what..."

"And I'm crass?! Well then you must be..."

"Sorry dearest, lovely, most beautiful..."

Laughter, pwetty, pwetty laughter and choirs of ravens with more gorgeous purple eyes then she'd ever seen before and the quiet hush that dolphins and lyre birds made in a desert sun. Sounds that eclipsed the sun and the stars and anything like the unpredictable and devastating wind she knew she embodied. Unnatural and undeniable was the affection she felt between them and she wanted to cry.

For, even with all her faults and the destruction she knew she wrought with her very presence, she would never even dream of separating the ocean from the land it breached and comforted. She wasn't as yet that selfish to bring down _whatever _thing Izzy decided to believe in that week smashing on her head.

And she was never really all that masochistic enough to believe that the wind could fit between the valleys of the earth and the bellies of the oceans.

She'd wandered this Planet enough times to know that, even if she could turn herself inside out –and she would would would, just to know, to _feel_- and become the empress she knew he needed; and if she ever tried to breach the unparalleled sky-and-water between his-and-her lives she'd bring down Fate and Destiny on everyone. And if somehow –_never ever gonna happen, you _know_ that-_ somehow, he lov-_damn, damn, damn_- appreciated her feminine wiles and non-existent chesticles enough to consider marr- _a mutual proposal of arranged convenience, which resulted in house sharing and quite possibly children_- she knew that someone would stop her.

She was getting sick of this whole 'Repetition of History' thing actually. She didn't even know _whose _life she was living, but whoever it was she hoped suffered as much as she was right now. Which is a stupid thing to think and know she'd probably be haunted for the rest her life by The Immortal Flower Girl and stupid bastards with long _frickin flowing _silver hair and swords that weren't blatantly compensating for _anything_.

And now she wanted to know who the hell was screwing with her brain and making her think about other things that didn't [Never would, Never should] matter as much as her own angst and agony cause she was just that much more important than anyone liked to think.

Then she laughed, because well, her life is right up there with Using The Life Stream Is Safe and Drugs Are Good For You for the biggest pile of propaganda crap of all time.

And she'd have to wake up and smell those 7 week old-piles-of-decaying-mess Life called roses soon.

Well, right now actually.

"Quinn! You're okay!" Izzy yelled right into her face.

"Yeah, thanks" she replied. Bite little fishy, swim little shark.

"What's wrong?" Then she made the worst possible mistake she could short of getting up and challenging Cid to a drinking contest.

She lifted her head up.

And was promptly greeted with the one thing high school bitches and green light hooker's fear- a bigger pair of boobs and man stealing powers not ever a full roast meal could argue with. Granted Izzy was a dame fine cook and –as such things go- completely oblivious, so it was all good in da hood. This is a stupid proverb-y thing because she grew up in a house not a hood and they were currently stationed in a wood which rhymed but was not the same thing.

And rabid Chinchilla Maxi-Imperial will eat your head if you say otherwise.

"Oh My Gosh –OMG-, when did we arrive at Da Chao?"

"Hmm, aren't I the Emperor to be?"

"Not on my Da Chao you aren't!"

"Um, Quinn we never left the woods."

"Then what are those mount-...oh...never mind."

"Run Quinn, preferably before I hit you."

She looked around and the strands –_spider strands, spider strands, does whatever a spider strand can_- moved to block her. Every time she moved there'd they be, blocking her vision. It was starting to get annoying. Almost like it was telling her something. Like the odd and deep thrum banging like a gong in her chest. _Bong bong, bong bong. _Weird and empty like the bottom of that strange pit in Cosmo Canyon like a vampire breathing or something.

Sadly her attention span for things that would save her life was shorter then that stick Willis pretended was a wand –'_you sick pervs not like _that_'_- and much less dense –'_Izzy just _what_ are you implying?'-_ And she never was all that good at keeping herself {HeartBodyMind} safe.

That's probably why she rolled over and saw Izzy and Cervon embracing.

Suddenly she was sick all over again. The darkness was penetrating her mind and poisoning her like that damn shiny apple, -_and the evil stepmother_- with the 2 halves –_god no, please isn't that enough? -_ Like her and Izzy were –_meant to be, never to be, together yet always apart-_ and it tore her apart. Her soul was dying and bleeding and making that damn mess she wanted so bad except she was still alive, and she couldn't be. And now she knew what it was like to be fucked over by all the great forces in the Universe, Planet, _whatever._

So she lay back down and went to sleep.

_And I'm wishing on a dream..._

--*--

Decades, years, months, weeks, days later she still couldn't find her soul. She'd probably lost it, like that piece of Materia she 'found' at Icicle Town then swore till she was blue in the face a half blind baboon with yellow butt cheeks stole. Of course when questioned about how she knew the butt cheeks were yellow, she demonstrated the lovely improvising skills she'd learnt from a shameless monk in a brothel. I.e. she flashed everyone in the joint and ran away.

Still, no matter how many times she looked at the sky and clicked her damn heels together –_down the yellow brick road-_ she could never quite fly {Defy Gravity}. And she didn't know what hurt the most. The fact that Izzy was now his universe or that she'd always be the chicken for never owning up to her heart in the first place.

Still no one could accuse her of not facing her fears. _Dealing_ with things, not so much, but _facing _things she could do that. Even though she [_hate this part right here, I just can't take these tears_] was so sick of facing them, being so much stronger then she looked. And even though she could look death in the eyes and call him a girl for having such a pretty robe. She didn't know why this hurt so much and, because well, she never learnt how to deal with this and her fall back option was what got her here in the first place. And she thinks she should be more careful about what cliffs she runs off cause they might be cursed like that one obviously was and bring this sort of pain again.

And, and she looks at her feet and the breeze comes across them and she just wants to know why the wind keeps running.

Then she wants to stab something.

Like she said, dealing with things? Not her forte.

And this is Hell, and not even Hell smells the way It's supposed to, like rot and bad breath and baaaaaaad things but like moon and flowers and pretty water from Aeri- The Immortal Flower Girl's church and, and..,

She could feel herself running again. Flying across the ground, using her gun and the dagger next to her thigh to stab and shoot and stab. Losing herself just becoming a blur, nothing and everything and she's losing her footing and the ground is coming closer and-

She just shuts her eyes and keeps the momentum tucked next to her dry, aching heart.

She's crying and the tears [_your tears don't fall, they crash around me_] just burn because she knows no one's coming this time. She stares straight up and laughs. She laughs because she knows no one's coming; she laughs because she knows that even if they did they wouldn't understand. And she laughs because for the very –_firsttime_ever_how_special- she's the idiot.

Idiot to believe she'd turn out differently, idiot to hope that history would pity her; idiot to believe that Fate –History's long time buddy and up there with Destiny and Love for the biggest screw-over's of all time- would give her that second chance at being the hero- or love interest, it worked either way.

And she's crying again

She stands up and snaps her goggles back she also brushes off the dirt on her –perky and attractive; you know you want it- butt and smooths down the boots that Cervon hates and then she thinks why? Why does he hate her boots? They're splendiferous.

And maybe she doesn't care but she'd still like to know. She picks up the splattered remnants of her heart and the shards of her discarded wings and decides that she might as well walk among the –notasawesomenorbeautifulnorUltimatelySpiffybutstillprettydamncoolbutnosasicycoldasme- mortals. And see what parts she's missing.

_To follow what it means..._

--*--

Okay, maybe scaring everyone shitless wasn't a good idea, but in her defence all she did was ask if they needed any help. Which considering the fact that she's never 'helped' anyone before is understandable. But tying her from a tree near the borders of the camp and making her drink a 'special tea' was kinda pushing it, right?

Right, whatever

She looked around and admired the stunning foliage adorning her toes. Red, gold, brown and so many other colours. She decides she wants to see the sea because it's probably really pretty then she realises that she hates the sea anyway because that's where The Great Dragon lives and he scares her. And the only place she would ever go to there would make her so ill she couldn't move. She could barely stand the memories here, let alone the pain from _there_. She feels eye's pricking on her and she can feel every blink and shudder of breath rising from the dead around and inside her.

But this feeling is weird anyway, because she's being watched and no one ever watches her.

She experimentally flicks her legs and the bind falls just enough for her to plummet unto the ground and she momentarily lose consciousness. Vision clears and she can see a young transparent woman in a detailed kimono. Voices papered in her mind and she wondered rather absently, _why is the rum always gone?_

'_Didn't think ya take this long to come to' _Lollipops and aniseed, thats what she sounded like, _'Aniseed? I'd hope I was cooler than that.'_

"Who are you?"

'_Me? I'm you, well the old you' _ooh look at them piggys fly. _'Sarcasm? Yep defiantly an Incarnate.'_

"An incarnate?"

'_Nooooo an __Incarnate__ some words _have _to be capitalised.'_

"Like The Immortal Flower Girl and Rabid Chinchilla Maxi-Imperial?"

'_Who's The Immortal Flower Girl and seriously, chinchilla's?'_ her tone questioned her intellect. 'Damn _I'm sure I could have done better.'_

"Augh, go die in a pixie hole!"

'_Helloooo, Immortal Flower Girl?'_

"Not until you tell me what the hell an Incarnate is."

'_Damn, I'm rude, do you talk to your mother like that?'_

"No, she's a whore, life's whore to be precise."

'_Oh...' _

"Yep, proud I am"

'_Anyway, an incarnate is like well...a reborn persona of a notable profile that has not fulfilled its required regiment of emotion and life experience,'_

"Dude, that was so Dicto-fied, but yes I get the concept. So you mean to say that life has been whoring me-_us _out as some sort of in-joke?"

'_Well...yeah, I guess.'_

"What, so does that mean that History wins biggest screw over?"

'_You scare me child.'_

"And you're dead!"

'_God was I always this annoying? And who's the damn flower girl!'_

"She's- wait so my life has been one big shit load of karma?!"

_May-_

"-And not even my own frickin karma, it's yours! Do you know how fucking unfair, idiotic- and wow that makes a shit load of sense, I mean seriously if you use that sort of logic then everything I've seen...everything I've done...everyone I've hurt...is to make up for something you did."

'_Well, yeah but-'_

"WELL WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?"

'_I FELL IN LOVE WITH A VAMPIRE!'_

...

Dot Dot Dot

"Shit, seriously? 'Cause that's kinda lame"

'_I also died at 20...we're meant to live to 97 and can you stay on any subject for longer than 20 seconds?'_

" Why are you here anyway? And no quite impossible I think."

'_Cause you'll screw things up if someone doesn't set you straight.'_

"Huh, well thanks I guess"

'_No prob, mind saying hi to my grandson for me?'_

"How old _are_ you?"

'_Too old to listen to your babbling brook of shit, we better wind this up, heavens calling. Well Tifa.'_

"Izzy's grandmother? You know what I don't wanna know anyway. Just give me the guy's digits and I'll leave him a message from beyond the grave."

'_Cervon, he _should _be in Wutai but I hold no- what's with the face.'_

"Nothing, just the fact that somewhere out there Irony is laughing it's ass off."

'_Why?'_

"'Cause I'm in love with your grandson"

'_Oh, well, good luck with that...'_

And the strange old/young lady washed away into half-sunk memory

She started to wonder about this whole Incarnate thing, would it back fire eventually and leave her limbless and crying about how the chinchilla's got her hat. Or would it change things and leave her happy and content in Cer-

Okaaaay, new plan, you are obviously insane and need to start thinking about normal things like chinchillas eating people and, and how much she wanted to see everyone smile at her again, even if it took an eternity for them to forgive her.

'_Good think about that for a while' _crinkle, wrinkle smile,_ 'you may make it yet'_

Life sucks when your heart broken and almost clinically insane. It sucks even more when it takes you 19 years, an epiphany, talking to the you-that-is-not-you-but-must-be and almost losing your soul to realise that, the one thing you constantly pushed away was the one thing you really needed.

And it sucked even more when all you wanted to do was run to that person and cry and apologise for being so blind and heartless and stupid. Then you wanna kick yourself cause that's useless now and you'll have to man up and do something about this _all by yourself._

Because every fibre in your being is telling you to run and take and plunge off that damn cliff again with your broken wings and _fly._

Because all this time all you wanted to know was how much a person could bend.

How much a person could _break_

How much a person could cry and scream and laugh even if it was hollow and still live like they had a future.

And she knew now that futility-like synergy which is never/always the sum of its parts- does not give in and that her future was pre-determined and how much she hated it, even though she knew it was coming.

She also thinks that Angst suits her muchly

She rolls forward on her toes till gravity greets her and she falls downward. She rolls over and tries her hardest to cover herself in grit and dirt. Face down she hums again. Again it stalks out angrily and she shoots the earth. _Somehow,_ she thinks_, this makes up for just a little of what you've done to me._

She stands up and finds the momentum again; she lets it carry her back to her past crimes and edges toward a newer future with glass rainbows and falling smiles.

_{Smile Like You Mean It}_

--*--

The end often begins with the start. Sometimes the middle before the end and more often than not the start at the end. No story truly ends and no hero is ever truly forgotten, the Lifestream insures this by occasionally puking up those the world needs and watching as humanity bumbles around and screws things up.

A hero's life is controversial, that much is obvious. And she thinks that maybe if she were to put people's destiny's into genres everyone she knows would be a tragedy. She also knows that the end for _them_ is yet to come, yet _her_ twilight pulls ever closer to the horizon she's running so desperately away from. Her time is almost up, no matter what the-ghost-who-is-not-in-fact-a-ghost say's because life for people who don't believe is always short and painful and full of uncertainty.

The end will come and at the end and she'll be ready, till then she can only hope that she doesn't fall any further [_don't wanna fall another moment _into_ your_] gravity.

Boy is Gaia gonna hate her for _this_

--*--

Spider strands are once again dancing in front of her eyes and she can't help but look back and think about the last time. Bored, she flicks her hair and stares straight up at the sky. It's big and full and blue and spilling with beautiful clouds.

"Isn't today beautiful?" she senses the dangerous ground she's treading and quickly steps back, "Especially since you can spend it with me!" Gaah, strained, too strained.

Silence in the back and then-"Okay, what the hell is going on!" Cid, always Cid, damn him for noticing.

"What in the world are you yelling about?" Smile a little harder darling, next time they might believe you.

"You and this shit you keep pulling! Helping and crap, I liked you better as a worthless freeloader! Are you trying to guilt us into our graves?" Smile, _crack_, smile, _crack crack_, smile _break_.

"Gawd, what is _wrong with you_! I haven't done anything." Breathe, break.

"Me, you're the one who's being all retarded! God your whole demeanour-"

"Cid!"

"-Is pissing me off ever since you were stupid enough to run off that cliff and try and kill yourself you worthless pile of scum -"

_Snap crackle pop, break, snap, twist._

"Stop now!"

"All because you were stupid enough to think that an _emperor _would go for you when there's someone like _Izzy _around and quite frankly I don't think Cervon should have bothered saving you-"

I_hate_you_somuchwhy_can'tyoujust_die_I_hope_yourotin_hell_you_bastard_

"Yes thank you! Like I needed to be reminded of that shit again. Thank you for telling me why I'm worthless and full of shit and not for the first time that I should throw my worthless carcass off a cliff and thank you for reminding me of what I'll n-never-" Fuck, no stop it now, crying and running and...

Silence in the background

She falls to her knees covered in surrealism and dead hope. She crawls back to the clear ocean and kneels at the edge, swinging in the wind and wondering what karmic retribution this is. She didn't want the end to come like this. Yet for some reason she just/maybe/mostlikely deserves it.

"I deserve it."

"Why?" Ravens eyes, gorgeous and untutored by grief stared back at grime filled ones with honesty.

"Why not?" she slumps {soyou'retiredofrunningyou'retiredofhurting}, "after everything he said...and he's right too that pisses me off even more."

"About you changing or being in love with me?"

Seriously does he just pull this out of his ass or does he think up answers for these situations.

"Both I guess, kinda a catalyst for each other as well, blame your grandmother she was a horrible influence." He won't get it.

"Right..." Ding, ding we have a winner, "but it is kinda stupid right? I mean if you liked me for all that time [_with our hearts in our hands squeezing out all the lies_] when I liked you stupid not to realise, right?"

Smiles and she wants to cry and hug the planet.

"Wah, gah, shmoogle?"

"Moogle..."

"Issues..."

"Good to see you again."

And the smile dies on her tongue, she falls down again, stops _flying _and _walking _and _breathing._ Then she hugs him, one last time before she splatters her heart and dies again.

"Yeah... lifes a whore."

"Wow, maybe 25 seconds?"

"What?"

"On one subject"

She huffed and moved closer, "Seriously, I need to tell you something."

He looks at her brimming with hope, spilling over and she feels her stomach drop. She looks out at the sea and throws her arms out. Welcoming the twilight.

"It's a good day for the end."

_Time is running out._

"Is that what you wanted to say?"

She lets her eye's slide back and once again she's stumped at how beautiful he is. She steps a little closer to the cliff she's on and reaches her arms out for an angel.

"No, I wanted to say that I know how stupid I was being and that I should almost definitely in fact let you go without doing this but..." she grabbed his shirt and twisted, bringing some startled noise from him, "can't"

"What do you mean?"

_Our time is running out._

"Our time is running out."

"Quinn, what are you on abou-"

"Shut up, if I left without saying goodbye would you let it be?"

He barely thought about it "No."

"If I tried to commit suicide would you let me?"

"Of course not."

"Then why for the love of god am I doing this? Shut up its rhetorical. Look I can tell you right now that the planet would rather shoot its ass then let us be together and that by _letting you go_ I am saving us all a lot of heartbreak."

"But I don't want-"

"Oh for the love of all that is- _Izzy is in love with you!"_

Silence echoed between them bouncing of the bubbles and shattering the glass rainbows.

"What..."

"Izzy has been in love with you for years."

"Then why didn't?"

"_Because_ she'd never put you on the spot like that, I mean there was that weird fixation you had with that girl from Icicle Town,-"

"Hey, that's not-"

"Yes, it is, you know it is, that's the infuriating thing about you, you just never know when to stop. And one day you know it's gonna get you killed."

He breathed and moved closer sending tremors through her nerve, "Fine tell me what I have to be."

"You just can't give up can you?"

"No, not until you say it."

"Say what?"

"That you love me."

"Can't."

"Won't?"

"Can't"

"Why?"

"Because History is the biggest screw over of all time and I don't want my Incarnate to have to cry herself to sleep at night."

"Why do you keep saying that?"

In that moment she feels four and forty. Her weariness shows and the glamour dies. All the beauty of youth and energy dissipates leaving the empty husk of a soul well past its years.

"I'll have to show you then."

She yanks hard on the shirt and feels more than sees the hard press of his chest. Her eyes are wound tightly shut as she moves through the motions of a kiss. She pours everything she's losing to him in and yanks and pulls on her own twisted heart and mind. The chains he has around her tighten and slip like the movement of his arms and she pulls at him and finds herself rewarded with blood. She gives absolutely everything till the rush is so intense in her mind she can barely find space to move.

It's dark, dirty, disgusting and everything she's _always/never_ wanted in a kiss.

She lets go and wallows in her own disgusting melancholy. Stepping back from the ledge and ripping off the mask she's worn since, well, _ever._

Once again she thinks Angst suits her muchly and she cries.

He stands there staring at the sea his own tears and blood slipping past his eyes and a part of her is begging to rewind {_backtothefirsttimeIfeltitcoming_} and wishing not to cause him anymore {_makeitquickmakeitpainless_} pain. Her tears are not falling they are crashing and she can't shoot anyone but herself for it.

_That_ is the part she hates the most.

Eons later he looks at her with pity in those gorgeous eyes. Seconds later she falls on –_frail wings of vanity and wax_- the sky and breaks the blue atmosphere.

"I should go now."

"Yes, you should."

"Quinn I-"

"Go on, Cervon, save us all the pain." Smile _shatter_ break.

He walks away and after she collects her fragments she follows him. Back to those she knows will put him back in the right place. She smiles with her heart at the sky and walks forward right into the twilight.

Still a few things left to do.

She sneaks back at night and gets her things; she looks at the sleeping mortals who were her world and walks/_flees_ away. The circle of fire that holds her greatest damnation is just outside and she feels it like music in her bones.

"So, ya leaving."

Ciddy boy yet again.

"Yep, time I grew up don't you think. Can't do that with all you squares around."

"Not comin' back right?"

She looks back at the tent and flicks the webs away. "No, don't think so."

"You gotta come to my death bed."

Eyes widen and she feels jagged spears in her heart, "Don't look so surprised you were always tellin me to quit smoking and you were right...I got about 6 years."

She was so sick of crying and yet they just kept on piling the hurt.

"I'll find you before then," she stumbles forward and leaps at him, "Promise, promise, promise, _promise."_

She stands up and clicks her boots together looking for that stupid old coot. Again she's left in reality, cold crying and not even sure she wants to do this.

Still swinging she makes her decision and _runs_.

Hopefully there are no cliffs this time.

--*--

_Many years later..._

--*--

Occasionally she goes to Wutai and stands on Da Chao, she looks over everything and thinks that she was lucky to even know there Ruler.

He was a pretty good kisser.

She throws her arms out and smiles, sometimes she likes the ocean.

_And in that place between heaven and sky I'll wait for you_

--*--

She found Cid on his deathbed 1 whole year after his prophetic death, damn bastard can't even die on time. Her cowardice got in the way and she couldn't bear to show the others her true colours (Blood doesn't come off that easily), which was obviously that old bastards design in making her come anyway.

he yells at her for making him suffer through another year because he didn't want to die without seeing her.

She doesn't mind.

She's happy he cares.

_Oh, let's make it last forever,  
_

_Screaming "Hallelujah"_

--*--

Izzy's married to Willis. Apparently her fixation with his _wand _bloomed into something like love. She sees them one day when she's masquerading as a singer in her grandmothers bar mixing cocktails and sweet talking their little kid. (Who kept downing the drinks when she wasn't looking)

After her song finishes she goes to the bar and orders a Dusk Star, which upon arrival looks poisonous and she's not sure she wants it anymore.

Izzy flicks her hair and laughs saying that the last person she knew who drank that was a klepto.

She gets it but pretends she doesn't

She tells her to be careful, you can never be sure what kind of Chinchilla will steal your hat.

Then she kisses her goodbye.

_And I can see that end coming and I forgive you and I miss you_

--*--

She goes to Cervon's coronation and stands in the crowd and cries as the stupid hat thing is put on his head. She claps hardest and then goes out on a drinking tour. Somehow she ends up in a parlour singing and playing the piano for him. He doesn't comprehend a word and she's glad.

She sings about how she'll never sing him a love song and later on when he's so smashed she knows he won't remember her face she laughs with him about how hypocritical it was.

He kisses her, sweet and short and her eye's glisten.

She knows he'll make it, they both will.

_But it's okay, there's always another day._

--*--

When she's far too old to care she sits around in her old dress and watches the sky pass over head. She hasn't done anything heroic in years and most days she finds herself with a 4 year old on her knee telling them stories about the olden days. When this 4 year old is 16 she tells her about OVERFALL and how they saved The Planet, she doesn't believe her and she smiles old and crinkly.

Then she tells her the story of A Love That Could Never Be and she goes starry eyed. When questioned about why she didn't just decide 'screw history I have a life' she answered- '_Because I love you and, well, __because sometimes History likes covering the sky in star vomit and orgasmic rainbows.'_

She didn't get it.

Not many did.

She didn't care, she changed history

--*--

She dies at 93 with a smile on her face. And no one but that used-to-be little 16 year old knows why.

How the hell is she meant to tell then it's because she died from a Chinchilla bite?

--*--

THE END

--*--

AUTHOR RANT

So tell me what you think.

REVIEW


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